forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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