so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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