Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
