So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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