ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It was like giving head to a cactus.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
