So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
