I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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