garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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