Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
