I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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