Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
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I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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