we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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