as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
