I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
