I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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