u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
