you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
did i walk over a car last night?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
