I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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