my text book just quoted the cookie monster
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
