You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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