You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
