he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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