I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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