when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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