I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you would pick up someone in the library
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
