question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
