im gay
i know
yea but for you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
