I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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