Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
