The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
