Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
...so i touched it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
