remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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