He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
