$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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