Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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