Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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