I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
