We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
