omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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