I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize