So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
