first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
