Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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