so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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