Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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