Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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