I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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