I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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