this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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