I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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