my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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