Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We left an ass print on the piano.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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