Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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