Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
