I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
