somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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