is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
