It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
