it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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