I'd wear matching sweaters with you
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
