if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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