you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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