On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
