since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
