Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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