She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
