OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
