i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She said her name was "party"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
