We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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