And the cops told us we were all naked.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
